I can not believe that I am writing this email. I can not believe that
I have been a missionary for over 2 years now, and that I have come to
the last week that I will be a full time missionary. I won't lie it is
a strange feeling. It's a mixture of excitement, mixed with fear,
sadness, anxiety, and so much more all in one and all at once. I think
what makes it the strangest is that I have put all that I am and all
that I can into this work and this mission for two straight years. I
have breathed, eaten, and sweat missionary work for the last two years
and as a result I have felt some of the most incredible joy I have
ever felt. I will never forget this feeling. I think your mission is
the only place that you can be dead tired, have a pounding heading and
be sweating like crazy in a small hot apartment in the middle of
Japanese summer and have planning and a bunch of other phone calls you
have to take care of all the way up until 10:28where you realize you
are still in your shirt and tie and need to brush your teeth change
and get in bed, the only place where you have all of these things and
are still unbelievably happy. I don't completely understand it, but
it's real. You can ask any returned missionary, or any full time
missionary. There is such a special joy to this work and it's
something that I want to continue. I know I won't have the badge, or
the special calling, but I know that I can feel it as I continue doing
the good things that I have been doing the last two years.
There has been a lot I have learned as a missionary, and I don't think
that I am going to be able to put very much of them into this email,
but the overlying big message or biggest thing that I think I have
learned is our need to rely on the Savior in all things. There have
been too many times as a missionary where I simply could not do
something by myself or my companion and I could not do something by
ourselves. There are things that are just simply out of our control.
We have a sphere of influence, but there are just certain things that
we can not change. They just happen, or they are things that we no
matter how hard we work or try can not do. I remember last year when
T____ couldn't be baptized because his mother would not give him
permission. We had prepared T_____ and he was ready to go, but he
couldn't be baptized until he had his mothers permission and we had a
time limit because he was going to America. We did all we could to
meet with his mom and talk to her and tried to convince her but
nothing was happened. I remember praying and just saying God we are
doing all we can, but we can't do anymore and we need help. One random
day about 1 week before T____ was scheduled to leave for America his
mother call us and told us that she had been thinking and that she
just kind of felt like T_____should be baptized and that it is a good
thing. I know that wasn't our influence. God expects us to do our best
and do all we can, but he will make up the rest. I have seen it time
after time. I have learned that as we rely on him and trust in him,
that is when we are able to do anything. I have learned that we need
him on our side at all times, and all we need to do to have him is to
work to be worthy and than ask him. I have definitely learned the
power of prayer on my mission. Do you know how many times we pray as
missionaries?? At first I thought it was absolutely insane, but now I
know why we do. Because we know that we can't do it alone. I have also
learned the Lords timing. It might not always be when we want it, but
we have to have patience and when we do our faith increases and we get
grow. Although we sometimes don't want to believe it, God is smarter
than us! Haha He knows better. And when we learn that and can trust in
him and his timing our lives just kind of seem to be more hopeful and
optimistic, because we know it's going to work out! Above all I have
learned that he loves us. Not just his church members, not just Him or
her but every single person on this earth. Even all the way over here
in Japan. I have felt the love that he has for the people here, and as
I have served them and worked with them here I feel like I have gained
some of that love.
I am so grateful for all the amazing experiences that I have had to be
here and to have been a missionary. I would not trade this experience
for anything! I am grateful for the testimony I have gained, and my
own personal conversion that I have had while I have been here. I know
that this is where I want to be. I know that the church is what I want
to build my life, and the life of my family on. I know that Jesus
Christ is my savior, and the savior of the world. He did rise on the
third day and HE LIVES. I sustain his prophet Thomas S. Monson. I know
the Book of Mormon is true not because other people have said that,
but because I have taken it and tried the challenge written in it.
Because I know it is true I know that this is the Restored gospel of
Jesus Christ. I am grateful for my family and amazing parents, church
leaders, and friends who have taught these truths to me from since I
was a child till now. I hope to be able to do the same. My next step
is to continue working to help others have that same conversion as I
have. I have had it, so I know everyone else can too.
Thank you all for the amazing support that you have given me over
these last two years! I have been unbelievably blessed with a great
support system and it has made all the difference. I love you and I
will see you all soon!
Love,
Elder Cottle
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